There’s an art and science to handling frustration!

Frustration (noun) – “the condition of being frustrated”. A state of mind that makes one feel helpless and hmmm… frustrated! And when a person is frustrated it takes a while to get out of it, because it makes us feel powerless, sometimes making us wonder if anything is worth doing at all.

In the last two weeks, I spoke to several people who said that they were “frustrated”. Everyone had answers for how they feel frustrated and helpless about why they were getting frustrated, what frustrates them,who is responsible and when they get frustrated. Wow! Ok, but what are the options when we get frustrated? Live with it, grow it, cope with it or deal with it?

Let us take an example- our roads and traffic. If you have driven in Bangalore (except between 1 AM to 3.30 AM from the airport), to say that our road traffic can frustrate and create stress is an understatement. Anyone who spends time driving to and from work knows what they go through. With roads in the middle of potholes and speed breakers(you read it right:)), bikers driving on pedestrian walkpaths, vehicles blaring at a traffic signal it is a public jungle where there is no sanctity for any rule.

Add to it the potential dents to the vehicle lurking every day, it is one hell to drive on the road. The traffic is the same or worse everyday and another 24 hours have gone in front of our own eyes. Phew! Is’nt that sounding like a frustrated Bangalorean?

But lets get to the point. So what does that create in our minds.

The usual path
Most of us accept this frustration as a way of life and try to cope with it. A hugely unsurmountable level of frustration and stress. It becomes a monster in the mind and it looks almost impossible to escape the feeling of frustration. We build up stress that then shows on our near and dear ones or at work. Or we crib, complain about it, leading to temporary ventillation but nothing changes for ourselves. It is them-other drivers/ traffic police, government, environment- potholes etc, timings-21 out of 24 hours, everything outside our control.

So how do we deal with this “monster” without getting frustrated?
One key question to ask is “how” do you get frustrated? Not why, what, when with whom, where etc. But how- what is your strategy for frustration? How about imagination, curiosity?

The art of imagination
Let’s take imagination. How is the traffic “re-presented” inside your head? Is it a picture/pictures or is it noisy or is it smoky smell and how does it feel when you see/ hear the traffic in your mind.

Now as you think of the traffic, start distorting that sense inside your head- for example- take a colorful brush and make the picture colorful. If you could hear the horns blaring, imagine the sounds of the traffic horn to a musical tone. Now play this in your mind several times till it is no more stressing you out. Now check how frustrated you feel.

The science of language
The other way to manage the mind is to change your language. Instead of words that show frustration, use words like This is AWESOME, SUPER, FANTASTIC, even BEAUTIFUL! And say this emphatically and fast.
What? Are you nuts, you may think?

No! Words produce emotions. they create wars. By using strong, frustrating words you are only increasing your frustration! As you know if the frustration grows it will show on your work, your health, your family and your decisions that moment. Instead of the feeling controlling your day, you start to control the feeling.

UNCOMMON words for a known context interrupt your own pattern of feeling bad and instead wil create a different feeling. They will divert your mind away from frustration and stress and instead put more power in your mind to deal with that growing feeling of frustration.So go ahead and try this out. People with whom I have shared this have reported much lesser level of traffic stress.

And here is the best part. Use it for any other situation in your life as well, not just traffic! And see, feel the difference:)

- Contributed by V.Bharathwaj
Bharathwaj is the Founder/CEO of MyndGenie, an emotional wellness company in India. This article was first published on the MyndBlog.

Image courtesy: Routerfreak.com