On stage, he comes off as quite confident. Watching him, you’d think he was loaded with self-esteem.

In fact, the opposite is true. And at a recent presentation, he let his audience in on this personality “flaw” right from the start.

Now I wouldn’t recommend doing this all the time. If, for example, you are delivering a sales presentation to a room full of businessmen, playing the “low self-esteem card” could backfire. Your listeners might think: “Gee, does this guy need a hug or something?”

But in my friend’s case, it helped him bond with his audience immediately.

Why? Because he was giving a speech at a self-improvement seminar. He knew his audience — and he knew what they would respond to.

His eager listeners almost certainly thought, “WOW! This guy has his own image problem. And yet, he’s accomplished all his goals. If he can do it… so can I!”

But though my friend has proven that you don’t need high self-esteem to be an effective speaker (or a successful entrepreneur) — he’s also shown that you need to be able to present your material with aplomb and conviction.

Fact is, your audience starts checking you out the minute you step on stage.

They look at the way you’re dressed and the way you move. But it’s the way you deliver your speech that makes the biggest impression on them.

Telltale signs that you have low self-esteem:

• You stand up there and just read off PowerPoint bullets.
• You don’t make eye contact with your audience.
• You use unnatural hand motions.
• You speak softly, and your voice tends to trail off at the end of a sentence.

Whether your self-esteem is high, low, or somewhere in the middle, you can learn how to turn on the switch when it’s “show time” and put on a splendid performance.

It starts with knowing your subject inside out. When you feel like an expert, you will exude self-confidence from every pore.

That said, here are four tips to help you give one great presentation after another — and keep getting asked back.

1. Deliver One Big Idea

As Michael Masterson often says… every effective communication is based on one BIG IDEA. Create a speech that has one BIG IDEA and it will stand out in the hearts and minds of your audience.

Worried about length? Don’t be! You do not have to deliver a long and exhaustive speech for it to make an impact.

Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address — with just 271 words — is one of the most quoted and most powerful speeches ever given. Imagine: In less than 3 minutes, Lincoln not only summarized the Civil War, but redefined it as a struggle for freedom and equality!

2. Speak in the Moment

Practice, practice, practice… so the words, as Shakespeare said (when he was alive of, course) are spoken “trippingly on the tongue.” Do not give a canned speech or read your presentation. Outline your important points, know them, and then speak to your audience as if it is one person sitting across from you and hanging on every word you say.

3. Tell Stories

Don’t quote boring industry facts and figures. Any “B” speaker can do that. Be an “A” speaker. Capture your audience’s attention with a story. If you are giving a speech on customer service, for example, tell them a customer service horror story. They will LOVE it!

Tell the truth… but embellish the anecdote a bit (using dramatic license, and adding humor if you can). The idea is to eventually lead your audience to the conclusion that you (or the product/service you are selling) have the solutions to their problems.

4. Fake It ‘Til You Make It

That’s what most top-gun speakers did in the beginning. With enough stage time, you’ll internalize what you need to know to overcome your self-confidence “issues.” And then, it will be second nature to come across as cool, collected, and in control.

This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, a free newsletter dedicated to creating wealth and success through inspiration and practical, proven advice. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.By Peter Fogel.

As an adult, you may have been punished for communicating. For example, if you admit you committed a crime and are sorry about it, no one cares. You still go to jail. If you honestly tell your spouse you are thinking about an affair, your marriage suffers if your spouse is not very understanding. If you tell someone you feel a little crazy, who knows what might happen. So you learn to keep your mouth shut.

However, businesses fail when managers do not talk to employees or employees do not talk to customers. Everyone mistakenly believes telepathy is working. “I thought you knew I was unhappy with your performance.” “You should have known I was overworked.”

Marriages are ruined by poor communication. Rather than openly discuss sex, money, body problems or whatever, couples hint about their concerns or simply say nothing. But without support and understanding from your primary teammate, you do not go as far. In fact, a bad marriage can ruin everything in your life. Both parties in a successful marriage are able to give and receive communication from their spouse on any subject.

Life is miserable if you have no one to openly communicate with. Friendships are based on communication. The lack of friends or a spouse to communicate with often leads to mental problems.

So the first communication skill you need is to get out there and talk.

Unfortunately, on some topics, you’ve learned to watch what you say, to keep it under your hat, to zip it up.

“So that is the basic lesson that anybody learns in this universe. They learn to keep their mouth shut, and it’s the wrong lesson. When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate.” — L. Ron Hubbard

Whenever you have doubts about something, COMMUNICATE! Talk, talk, talk until the problem resolves. When you feel stress, disagreement or resistance between you and someone near you, the wrong thing to do is ignore the problem. Instead, start communicating.

When you know you should say something, say it! For example, an employee knows another employee is embezzling money and so says something to the employee and/or boss. A doctor knows he must talk to a patient about the patient’s rude behavior to the office staff. An employer knows she must discuss poor performance issues with some employees.

Take the bull by the horns. Move ahead in life. Spit it out.

If you’re worried about the consequences of saying something, you can ask first. Examples:

“Lisa, I want to say something about your driving to help keep you out of accidents, but I don’t want to upset you. Can I tell you what I think or should I keep my mouth shut?”

“Boss, should I tell you if I think you are giving me bad advice?”

“John, our marriage means so much to me I don’t want to say anything that would jeopardize it. But I have done something wrong and I’m sorry I did it. I think it would be good for our relationship if I told you. Don’t you think it’s best if we are 100% honest with each other?”

“Can you listen to something unfortunate I have to say and remain calm? Are you ready?”

In the long run, you are always better off by communicating. Take responsibility and talk. Staying silent solves nothing.

Copyright © 2009 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard

Recently, I read in one of the “Ask” columns published in the Los Angeles Times. A woman was looking for a neighborly way to resolve her issue of a neighbor’s cigar smoke floating into her townhouse. Unfortunately, the guidance the author of this “Ask” column offered was flawed. The columnist offered some data about the hazards of second-hand smoke and a recommendation to the woman to ask the cigar smoker to smoke somewhere, other than the smoker’s own patio. Sure thing, like that’s going to happen.

Outside for Solutions

Why do you suppose this woman needed to consult the “Ask” columnist about her challenge? Could it be, as John Grey stated in his book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus that women tend to solve problems by committee and she needed several opinions? Or could it be that this woman was not confident enough in herself to chat with her neighbor about the problem? After all, she did ask for a “neighborly” solution—leading one to believe that she was not an extremist on the issue. But, why does this woman think she needs a referee to help her?

I find it both interesting and disturbing that so many people believe they have to seek outside guidance for simple problems like the above. What ever happened to sincere communication? When did we quit talking to one another?

The other day I heard a Trader Joe’s radio commercial that made a pungent point. The announcer stated that, unlike their competition, Trader Joe’s does not have big screen monitors in their stores. Rather, the announcer stated that one would only find customers engaged in lively conversation with other customers and crew members at their stores. I thought about this when I visited my local bank branch later that day as there was a huge screen with some sort of programming on it. I guess it was to keep me occupied so I would not talk to other bank customers about how long the line was and why they did not have more help scheduled for the afternoon?

Talking is Good

In contrast to what we all learned in school, talking is good. Listening to another person’s point of view and experiencing their window on the world eliminates distrust, misunderstanding, and encourages possibilities. What happened to sincere communication with others? In the above cigar smoke challenge, the woman could have acknowledged the cigar smoker’s right to enjoy a cigar on his own patio while also explaining the challenge she was having with his smoke ending up in her house. On this subject, I firmly believe that two people can have a reasonable discussion leading to resolution.

Since smoking a cigar is generally a 30-90 minute activity, she could have nicely asked the cigar smoker to give her a quick shout or phone call before he lit up so she could close her window until he had finished his cigar—each compromising a bit and offering the other a concession. Now how difficult is that? But instead, the “Ask” columnist suggested an in-your-face un-solution. The columnist’s un-solution will only lead to escalated conflict. Like the smoker is really going to go somewhere else and smoke his cigar after his neighbor get’s in his face? Sure, that’s really going to happen!

Eruption of Conflict

I have been a professional speaker and consultant in the area of business relationships for over two decades and it never ceases to amaze me just how many problems, in both the workplace and in personal lives, are caused from poor communication. This ugly problem seems to rear its head at an ever increasing pace. Workplace communication is frequently misunderstood.

What does this mean to you? In communicating with others, you have to be clear on the end result you are seeking. Only then can you make a request of another. Also, if you want something, you’ve got to ask for it—and not through a referee. Ask in a way that urges, motivates, and makes the other person feel good about giving you what you want. The woman that was seeking to eliminate the cigar smoke in her townhouse could have easily done this. How much more difficult would it of been for the woman to have had a conversation with her smoking neighbor, than taking the time to write to an “Ask” columnist? In the end, she received faulty counsel.

Reluctant to Communicate

Talk to one another; take a moment to be courteous and you’ll be amazed with your results. Don’t be afraid to stick your neck out, just a little bit, by asking questions. Use questions that allow you to take the temperature of another person’s feelings and attitude. Then utilize the age old adage; listen twice before speaking once. Ask a question and then be quiet and listen. Let the other talk. Please do not try to verbally over power the person to whom you’re speaking—I see this all the time. Rather try to understand what the other wants and needs. Make an effort to help them get what they want and they will be more willing to help you in return. And, please—be careful of receiving advice form newspaper “Ask” columnists.

Copyright © 2010 Ed Rigsbee http://www.rigsbee.com. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to Ed Rigsbee for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of Ed Rigsbee

Thinking, in general, is considered to be an activity to solve issues. However, often the core objective takes a back seat & the team involved in the thinking process ends up spending a lot of time in discussions & debates, while losing sight of the original objective. The outcome of such discussions often tends to be a new date for a follow-up discussion or at best a marginal (say, 10-20%) solution to the issues.

Edward De Bono gives us excellent insights on how issues/ cases should be handled. He emphasizes the “think in one direction” mantra. In a discussion, there will be people with different viewpoints: highly creative, highly critical, cautious & apprehensive and even particularly intuitive. The thrust of De Bon’s theory is: get all types of thinkers to think in a single direction at a particular instant. Doing thus gets everybody focused in the same direction, reducing discussions in tangential directions even while multiple viewpoints are expressed.

The six hats & their significance
De Bono explains this through his tried & tested methodology of Six Thinking Hats- each denoted by a different color- where each of these hats represents a different way of thinking. An understanding of these six hats will help individuals & teams to take decisions and solve issues with due consideration to different perspectives.

There is no strict sequence that needs to be followed while practicing the ‘Six Thinking Hats’ process- the sequence depends on the type of the problem & expected solution.

The White Hat
White Hat is a neutral hat & deals with facts. With this hat on you are supposed to present facts and figures. It is all about presenting all the information you have & how best you can use that information. Deal with the Whats, Whos, Whys & Wheres of the facts and figures presented.

Facts may be broadly classified into “Proven Facts” & “Perceived Facts”. Generally, there is no room for anecdotal figures unless they contribute significantly. You are not allowed to discuss opinions during White Hat Thinking- it really deals with the presence & absence of information.

The Red Hat
Red Hat is all about emotions and it provides thinkers with the luxury of being intuitive, emotional, foreseeing problems & indicating the probability of a particular thought being successful or otherwise.

This hat doesn’t demand any justification for your thought; you just have to put a thought that occurs to you at that instant. I specify at that instant because emotion changes with situations. Often red hat thinking is used at the start of a discussion and at the end of a discussion to judge the variance of thoughts after the meeting.

Your work while wearing this hat is to react, not to propose an alternative – just react. Generally the discussion revolves around statements like – I believe …. , I like it, I don’t like it, I feel … etc…

Red Hat thinking doesn’t allow you to defend your feelings it just allows you to speak what you feel.

Black Hat
Black Hat makes you cautious. While wearing a black hat you think of a problem with caution & being careful. This hat deals with logical problems with an idea and not belief, emotions or intuitions.

You are authorized to point out errors based on logic & information. The thought is not about being argumentative, not being negative but being careful. It allows you to point out logical problems with an idea, solving / fixing the problem happens under a different thinking hat. It’s about making a critical judgement, generally this is done after some suggestions are made. You identify barriers, hurdles, risks, hazards and other negative connotations involved in the overall process.

Take care that you don’t practice providing solutions to the problems, as mentioned above that should happen when you wear a different hat.

Yellow Hat
Yellow is bright & this hat deals with optimism. You think about logical positives which involves positive approach & positive thinking.

This hat helps you in coming up with options that you identified as important problems during your Black Hat thinking or an emotion that you felt to be strong while Red Hat thinking. It helps you in exploring the value of a thought / idea and the benefits associated with it.

Yellow Hat thinking is constructive thinking, where no negatives are allowed nor are emotions allowed. Some statements you could generally find while wearing this hat are – We can take advantage ….. , This is good because…., Using this we can multiply our sales, This will help us in making this happen etc…

Green Hat
Get out of the box, that’s what this hat demands – Get creative. Green Hat is loved by dreamers; it gives you the opportunity to think as creatively as you can in solving a particular problem. It deals with change & possibilities, sometimes done at the start of the discussion to get ideas that could complement the role of other hats.

Green Hat emphasize on the fact of listing creative thoughts not judging them. This could be challenging a current accepted pattern or a set protocol. In practice this judging is mainly done on Black & Yellow Hat thoughts.

Green Hat provokes you to identify new possibilities. Criticizing ideas are treated as violation while wearing this hat. Some statements that come up while using green hat are:
What if…., Could we… Suppose…. We could… etc…

Blue Hat
It’s time to bring everything under one roof; Blue Hat organizes & controls the thinking process.

In practice, Blue Hat is used at the start and end of discussions. In the beginning Blue Hat helps in understanding the objective, what are the expected outputs, what is the overall thinking about etc… and in the end this is used to understand what have we achieved, what are next steps, what changes are required etc…

Generally the group leader wears this hat throughout the process so that the discussion is focused. Blue hat helps you to plan & conclude discussions well.

- Article contributed by Sujit S. Nair

Here I have sorted a few ways to be happy at work.

1. SMILE!
Smile to everyone around you. Even if you hate the people around you, all you got to do is smile and be happy for yourself. Don’t mind who thinks what about you. The more you smile, the less complex everything else will seem to you.

2. Develop
This is a fast paced selfish world. The sooner you realize the better. So, don’t wait for someone to come, hold your hand and help you develop personally and professionally. You’re in charge of your own self and it is your responsibility to look out for all possible opportunities to develop in every possible way.

3. Always ask for feedback
For anyone to prosper it is always important to gain feedback from the experienced and the less experienced. One can never achieve growth if they are just doing something aimlessly, as one just ends up making innumerable mistakes.

4. Meet deadlines
It is important to meet deadlines at work as that creates a good impression about you. However, make sure that you never over-promise and under-deliver.

5. Stay positive
Avoid as much negativity possible. Think about it, when you speak negative about anyone, do you feel any better? It’s just spoils your mood even more. So try and avoid such negative interactions. Let people be the way they are. You have the power to change, but only yourself. So just be indifferent to negativity and be happy.

May be a new job could be the answer to your problems, but the right attitude, a positive mindset, a desire and commitment to continuously develop, improve and accomplish are pre-requisites for a permanent ticket to happiness and fulfillment at work.

In this article, I will make you understand on why and how to develop strong leadership skills.

Why?
Successful management is not just about assigning tasks to the team but, to achieve them as well. It’s more about inspiring your team members and help them achieve their potential. And you can only inspire them if they respect you. And to be respected, you must develop good leadership skills.

How?

1. Ask for feedback: don’t just blindly think that you’re a good leader. At all intervals, ask for feedback. Doing so will help you in a big way. Based on feedback from others, you can understand your skills better and you will know what changes to be made.

2. Pay attention: there is a vast difference between hearing and listening. Always listen carefully to what your team members are saying. Whether it’s their problems or suggestions think of them as your own and listen. And then accordingly give your empathies or suggestions to them.

3. Communicate: a good leader must know to communicate well. Make sure that you are heard well. It is important that you’re tone of speaking is positive and motivating.

4. Respect your team members: a fundamental part of developing leadership skills is to learn to respect your team’s potential. Give them a chance to take decisions on certain issues. And when you trust them, do it completely.

5. Mean what you say: here’s a simple example; if you stress a lot on punctuality to your team members, then make sure that you’re punctual yourself first, when it comes to deadines or any other important thing. Don’t just preach, rather practice it as well.

6. Allocate leadership: leadership should not be all about you. Make sure that you distribute tasks evenly among your team members. Give them also a chance to explore and learn by themselves. There is no way better than involving more people in the leadership process.

7. Evaluate your success with that of the team: when in a team, success is not all about you. You should be responsible enough to ensure that along with you, your team is also developing. Help them in building their skills as this will enhance motivation and team performance.

Article contributed by Namrata More.

Angeles, CA February 1, 2010 – in today’s world, everyone wants to rise ahead; they work smartly and the management loves them. But rarely are these winners the smartest or most competent according to personal branding experts. For those looking forward to a high trajectory career, great job offers, and big raises, read on below to take cues from Hollywood’s biggest personal brands and rock star politicians to get early promotions and big paychecks

Career Secret No. 1 – Train to Communicate Like Sara Palin

In less than two years Sara Palin catapulted from backwater governor to highly-paid Fox commentator, best selling author, and conservative darling. Whether you like her politics or not, anyone would agree her career is nothing short of stratospheric, but what can a mid-level corporate manager learn from Sara Palin about getting promoted? Plenty, says Jay Jessup, a personal branding expert.

“Great communicators are elevated much faster than the norm, whether it’s Governor Palin or a quickly promoted manager at any American company” said Jessup. “Listen to the leading voices of any industry; they have great storytelling and messaging skills and that is the sound of intelligence. These are learned skills.” Jessup recommends that any corporate manager should spend some off-duty time developing speaking skills and even doing some media training for assured career adrenaline.

Career Secret No. 2 – Plan Ahead Like Oprah Winfrey

Oprah’s trek from local weathergirl to the world’s most powerful woman didn’t happen by accident; she planned every step and is still thinking ahead 5 years. “America’s most-successful, whether it’s Oprah or high level corporate executives, know where they want to be in 1, 5 and 10 years” said Jessup. “When someone asked Oprah Winfrey what was next five years ago she said she wanted to have her own network; insiders knew she would have it and voila – this year she has more ‘overnight’ success with a network.”

At companies the same thing happens; employees are rewarded for planning ahead. In his new personal branding book Fame 101, author Jessup says most employees, low-level managers to top vice presidents, are taken by surprise when promotion opportunities arise. The people who actually get the best jobs have been planning their strategy for one year or more. Upward mobility requires looking ahead Oprah style. Great personal brands and careers aren’t built on-the-fly.

Career Secret No. 3 – Go Outside Your Company like Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart could easily spend 100% of her time running her media empire; magazines, television shows, endorsements and such. However, Martha knows a key secret to career and business success is to connect directly with the people who made her company successful. This zillion dollar personal brand steps away from Martha Inc. to become simply “Martha” on talk shows, speaking to women’s groups, and writing books to inform and connect with her upscale female fans.

Taking a page from Martha’s playbook, the fastest rising stars at every company invest much of their time meeting the people who provide revenue to their employer. “A Home Depot manager who wants a spot at corporate should be active in his state’s construction and home improvement industries; as a personal brand who speaks, writes articles, and is known by everyone” said Jessup. “Careers flounder when you focus solely inside your company. Learn the secret from Martha and let your fellow employees fight from within while you build a power base on the outside.”

The bottom line on all this: just like brand Sara, brand Oprah, and brand Martha, the people who get the best jobs, quick promotions, and corresponding great income do what their competitors aren’t doing. They develop their communication skills, they plan for the job they want (and the one after that), and they become leading voices within the community that supports their employer. Do these things and fast-track your career. For more career secrets and personal branding tips www.fame101book.com

Media Contact: 360.521.0437

About Jay Jessup: Jay Jessup is America’s leading personal branding expert. He heads Platform Strategy, a branding and publicity boutique. His new book Fame 101 (www.fame101book.com) profiles 75 most-notable personal brands, ranging from Suze Orman to President Obama, to distill a common success formula. It’s the playbook for anyone to join the elite 1% of their profession. Sample chapter, author bio, and more information at www.fame101book.com