Frustration (noun) – “the condition of being frustrated”. A state of mind that makes one feel helpless and hmmm… frustrated! And when a person is frustrated it takes a while to get out of it, because it makes us feel powerless, sometimes making us wonder if anything is worth doing at all.

In the last two weeks, I spoke to several people who said that they were “frustrated”. Everyone had answers for how they feel frustrated and helpless about why they were getting frustrated, what frustrates them,who is responsible and when they get frustrated. Wow! Ok, but what are the options when we get frustrated? Live with it, grow it, cope with it or deal with it?

Let us take an example- our roads and traffic. If you have driven in Bangalore (except between 1 AM to 3.30 AM from the airport), to say that our road traffic can frustrate and create stress is an understatement. Anyone who spends time driving to and from work knows what they go through. With roads in the middle of potholes and speed breakers(you read it right:)), bikers driving on pedestrian walkpaths, vehicles blaring at a traffic signal it is a public jungle where there is no sanctity for any rule.

Add to it the potential dents to the vehicle lurking every day, it is one hell to drive on the road. The traffic is the same or worse everyday and another 24 hours have gone in front of our own eyes. Phew! Is’nt that sounding like a frustrated Bangalorean?

But lets get to the point. So what does that create in our minds.

The usual path
Most of us accept this frustration as a way of life and try to cope with it. A hugely unsurmountable level of frustration and stress. It becomes a monster in the mind and it looks almost impossible to escape the feeling of frustration. We build up stress that then shows on our near and dear ones or at work. Or we crib, complain about it, leading to temporary ventillation but nothing changes for ourselves. It is them-other drivers/ traffic police, government, environment- potholes etc, timings-21 out of 24 hours, everything outside our control.

So how do we deal with this “monster” without getting frustrated?
One key question to ask is “how” do you get frustrated? Not why, what, when with whom, where etc. But how- what is your strategy for frustration? How about imagination, curiosity?

The art of imagination
Let’s take imagination. How is the traffic “re-presented” inside your head? Is it a picture/pictures or is it noisy or is it smoky smell and how does it feel when you see/ hear the traffic in your mind.

Now as you think of the traffic, start distorting that sense inside your head- for example- take a colorful brush and make the picture colorful. If you could hear the horns blaring, imagine the sounds of the traffic horn to a musical tone. Now play this in your mind several times till it is no more stressing you out. Now check how frustrated you feel.

The science of language
The other way to manage the mind is to change your language. Instead of words that show frustration, use words like This is AWESOME, SUPER, FANTASTIC, even BEAUTIFUL! And say this emphatically and fast.
What? Are you nuts, you may think?

No! Words produce emotions. they create wars. By using strong, frustrating words you are only increasing your frustration! As you know if the frustration grows it will show on your work, your health, your family and your decisions that moment. Instead of the feeling controlling your day, you start to control the feeling.

UNCOMMON words for a known context interrupt your own pattern of feeling bad and instead wil create a different feeling. They will divert your mind away from frustration and stress and instead put more power in your mind to deal with that growing feeling of frustration.So go ahead and try this out. People with whom I have shared this have reported much lesser level of traffic stress.

And here is the best part. Use it for any other situation in your life as well, not just traffic! And see, feel the difference:)

- Contributed by V.Bharathwaj
Bharathwaj is the Founder/CEO of MyndGenie, an emotional wellness company in India. This article was first published on the MyndBlog.

Image courtesy: Routerfreak.com

Really? If you think you are not afraid of anything, think about it again. Do you do everything that you want to do? Are there things that you want to do but are not sure, have doubts, hesitation about. What stops you? It is not someone else, something else outside but your friendly neighborhood fear! It can start off as a hesitation, grow into a doubt, make you feel uncertain, create a feeling of tension, anxiety and finally stop you on your tracks! Welcome to the reality of fear. Along with its cousins, uncertainty and doubt, the three emotions can either empower you or make you feel powerless.

True power starts when you face your inner monsterlings and leverage them- if they grow they become true blue monsters. Fear, uncertainty and doubt are emotional responses to situations. For every emotional response, you have a choice of an alternative emotion. How about freedom, courage, certainty, clarity? Have you ever felt these emotions in your life- any time- may be at school, college at work, in the family, socially… Now, you have potent weapons in your mind.

So how do you conquer fear?
Here are some actions you should take to overcome- rather, conquer, your fear.

Define the emotion and give it a form

The conquest of fear starts when you define the emotion. Give your fear a form, a shape, and define its intensity. Trying to rationalize the emotion may not be effective, for every logical explanation on why you should not get afraid, there is a powerful opposing logic that supports your fear and makes it real. So instead of rationalizing it, define it, make it appear in front of you.

Face your fear

The next step is to face it. Meet fear eye to eye. When you start seeing it, you put fear into perspective. See the physical definition of fear, not the imagination of the hurt from fear. See it like the way you would see a glass bottle. When you bring it to life you will know the purpose of your fear- which could be a warning or unpreparedness or not knowing what is going to happen. It is no longer the monster- or even if it is, you can see it than allowing it to dance inside you.

Leverage your choice

The third step is to leverage your choice. Once you start seeing fear defined, choose a time when you felt strong, courageous, bold. Bring those forces right inside of you and grow them. Make them stronger and bigger than the defined fear. And then decide how you want this power to handle your fear. Whichever way that makes you feel powerful.

Take powerful action

And finally, take one powerful action. If you have been avoiding a discussion DO it. If you have been hesitant to get out and meet a person or do something, just do it.

When you do that you release fear, and create power. Fear can then become your ally and a guide. Take charge. Live Powerfully.

- Article contributed by V.Bharathwaj. This article was originally published on the MyndGenie blog.
Bharathwaj is the founder and CEO of MyndGenie Systems, an emotional wellness management company from India.